Lazy Gramophones Journals

Naturally comparisons are dismal, worthless drivel - exercises in pointless dot-joining given to grammar school students to occupy their time. Others, such as rabidly polemical politicos, rely on comparisons of the sloppiest variety as rhetorical sport which exacerbate the condition of argument bloat, fabricating entire straw populations their effete hatred can bash away on. This we know, yet there... read more

...but it might just be the reason we go on to win! I'm not one for football analysis usually but I'm sure I am not the first to notice that our national side is a bit of an anomaly. With England's final group stage game against Slovenia looming, I think it's time we sorted this out. (I should explain that I may refer to England as 'we' because I'm English and they are representing... read more

This journal is the first in a series of pieces I expect to write about those certain 'elements' of life that inspire and influence my writing. I think it's important to acknowledge these elements, as essentially they represent the root of our craft, they are the seeds that precede the fruit of our labour, the 'components' without which our thoughts, our images, our music, our words would simply not... read more

I can do many things magnificently, and I am utterly hopeless at many more. My mind can shuffle through ideas like a pack of cards, and deal them out in a pattern of coherent words, but I cannot plan and execute a meal beyond toast. I can follow instructions and build a five foot tall 1/12 scale dolls house, but I cannot manage public transportation without constant guidance. I can put... read more