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Lime Cordial, Apple pie..and custard.

Written by Maria Drummey on Friday the 13th of August 2010
The crisp cloak swished like a sabre and its emerald piped edges glinted in the sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows.  The sharp sunlight also mercilessly highlighted the motes of dust now showering the air as the bumbling apprentice apologetically backed slowly from the presence of the mighty wizard.   "I'll be getting your tea now me lordship....and some cakes too I shouldn't wonder...nice cream cakes...” the apprentice grovelled as he retreated more quickly now from the icy supercilious glare that swept over him from the mighty wizard and chilled his blood to ice.   "TEA?” shouted the Wizard, "CAKES!!” his exasperation was clear to see, more clear by the red fiery dust that spewed from the mouth of his miniature dragon as though to emphasise each point.   "Monty and I.” (for Monty was the miniature dragon's name),..”.. will NOT be having tea and cakes, these are not the food stuffs of a magical being.  We must dine on finer meats tonight!”   The sharp finish to this statement cut the air like a knife and the Wizard and Monty stared defiantly and expectantly at the now frozen apprentice, one foot outside the doorway and one foot still within the room who had a look of fear upon his face.... it was obvious that they were expecting him to say something, to offer up some magical and delicious feast more befitting to a mighty wizard and his miniature dragon (looks like a flaming bluebottle, the apprentice thought to himself, too small to be a dragon), but his mind was blank, why what could he offer, if not tea and cakes?   "Umm...b..begging your pardon oh mighty wizard sir and bluebott..Umm..I mean Monty the mighty dragon...but what would you like to eat and drink, if not tea and cakes...” He drifted off into silence and wished he'd got both his wretched feet out of the door before being given such a difficult task as choosing a meal befitting such a mighty magnificent magical being.   "You ask US to choose?” exclaimed the Wizard, Monty's fire was now clearly evident and he was in danger of setting to light the large stack of spell papers balanced precariously on a bookshelf to their left.  "Well then, we pie and custard, don't skimp on the custard and... lime cordial to drink!”   Bertie (for that was the apprentice's name), stared at the wizard in shock and then had to stifle his laughter with a red handkerchief, quickly stuffed into his mouth, seconds ago dry with fear and now full of handkerchief and stifled giggles. As only moments before he had been wondering how on earth he would rustle up magical decadent food stuffs such as, snorkwhistle plant stew from the foothills of the mournful mountains or glittering greengages from the giant's gardens and which owl he would send to fetch such things, or which eagle, and if he sent the eagles they were sure to bite, especially Edmund a particularly bad tempered bald eagle with an aptitude for biting.  And now, the mighty wizard was choosing apple pie and custard?  Why, it was ludicrous!   Realising suddenly that he still had his dusty handkerchief stuck into his mouth and that two pairs of eyes (one wizard, one dragon) were firmly and quizzically fixed upon him, Bertie carefully extracted his hankie from his mouth, wiped his eyes and stepped quickly backwards with his other foot to leave the room as quickly as possible, before any more demands could be made.   "Apple pie and custard,” he said, "Yes of course, your mightiness”   "And lime cordial” breathed the dragon, his words setting fire to Bertie's fringe, which he quickly patted out with his handkerchief, "don't forget the lime cordial”.   Bertie made good his escape off to the kitchen in the crumbling tower.