Lazy Gramophones Journals

Lazy Gramophone have recently spent some time working with the wonderful Claire Wingfield. Claire runs a busy literary and editorial consultancy in Edinburgh, she has also published a book: 52 Dates for Writers - Ride a Tandem, Assume an Alias, and 50 Other Ways to Improve Your Novel Draft , which we highly recommend. This essential creative writing guide will take you away from your desk, to return with new ideas, fresh insight, better writing skills, and a renewed passion for your novel. It's suitable for both those who are seeking tried-and-tested strategies for revising a novel draft, and those who would like to improve their understanding of the writer's craft - to learn how to write a book that truly satisfies readers - and generate... read more

My brother and I both love our coffee. Not to tear inducing diatribe level, but all the same we both love a carefully sourced and prepared cup. Our regular coffee bean run has been to Monmouth Coffee in Covent Garden for the last few years. A great little coffee house on Monmouth street in London that has a great range of beans, really knowledgable staff and a guaranteed queue! Coffee really couldn't get much better we thought... A few times on a stroll around Camden we had passed by a dilapidated looking little shop front called Camden Coffee Shop. Usually this was on a Sunday and the shop was closed, from the look of it maybe permanently.... read more

LG original Jo Tedds recently collaborated with illustrator Olina Divisova, creating an original piece of poetry and illustration for display at the Art Macabre: Dying Matters Awareness Week exhibition . The private view of Dying Matters, was so busy that the quirky gallery space was both intimate and uncomfortable, forcing the living to push up against each other to get a good look at death. The exhibition, curated for the Round Chapel Gallery by Nikki Shaill of Art Macabre, was a wonderfully illustrious affair and had one thinking that perhaps heaven is a corridor of exquisite shrines and portraits of death, a life-drawing... read more

The Book of Hours & Changes, by Sorana Santos Synopsis: "A young woman attempts to demystify contemporary music to her lover through the art of poetry and letter-writing. Her words question the interplay between fate and free will. This book partners Sorana's album 'Our Lady of Stars' to form a multimedia work that explores the relationship between the written and sonic aspects of both literature and music." BOOK & ALBUM LAUNCH EVENT: Monday 15th June, London. Full details listed here: https://uk.patronbase.com/_Forge/Productions/RA/Performances ALBUM AVAILABLE to pre-order from here: read more

A Fabelist Group Show syn-es-the-sia In Synaesthesia and The Senses, nine emerging and established artists magnify sensory responses to the world around them in an expansive variety of media. ThisFabelist group show takes its theme from this Ancient Greek word, whose roots mean together (syn) and sensation (aesthesia). Between 22nd August and 1st September Unit 3 Projects will be transformed into an immersive labyrinth of painting, text, music and sculpture, guiding the viewer throughdifferent sensory states. Fabelist is an interdisciplinary platform for contemporary visual art, writing, performance and debate, founded... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

IT IS THROUGH 'TIME' THAT WE PAY TESTAMENT TO THE POWER OF COLLABORATION. Featuring work from fifty-five contributors, containing thirteen short stories, nineteen poems and fifty-eight pieces of artwork, Time, by Lazy Gramophone Press, is an anthology of work that pays testament to the power of collaboration. "In a time when publishers are taking fewer and fewer risks on unknown writers, Lazy Gramophone are to be applauded for giving their collective a chance to shine.” ~ Litro Magazine. The stories within this anthology entwine, narratives overlapping as they pass through childhood, adolescence, adulthood,... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative artists... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Five Things is a series of short journal posts introducing each of the writers and artists involved in our up-coming Time project. Since the project's inception, the idea has been to create an environment where independent writers and artists could come together in order to share their work. The result of this endeavour is a collection of stories, images and poems based around the theme of time, its pages placing particular focus upon the relationship between words and pictures. By sharing in this way we hope to inspire each other as well as those around us, to draw a diverse audience and so help to illuminate the work of alternative... read more

Time is a vast collaborative book project containing short stories, poems and artwork by fifty-five contributors. Initially inspired by a discussion on gamebooks, this project has taken over three years to grow into a fully formed book. The importance of collaboration has always been central to Lazy Gramophone Press's ethos, especially the pairing of words and images. This project therefore, is our chance to bring everyone together under one cover, all focused upon the same theme in order to produce a unique portrait of time. The stories in this book have been structured around a Central Story. The Central Story is biographical in that... read more

Listen to me. I wasn't born for birthday parties and scented candles in the twilight bath or string quartets on the lawn. I wasn't made for clean handkerchiefs and your mother's approval at the dinner table. Oh no. I was born for rock'n'roll, sea shanties and the smell of diesel on the harbour walls at dawn. I was made for bear claws on bark, for fires in the wasteland where desperate men in greasy overcoats swig vodka in the sparse snow and cold so tight and empty you can barely see a flame in it or the shape of hope in the dark. I was born for broken glass and imperfect love and riding the rusty trains home when the last-ditch grail-quest... read more

Will Conway recently launched his own website. He has begun a new collection of short stories; Eat My Shorts. Each week a new story with illustration from a different artist will be posted at www.willconway.co.uk for your enjoyment. There are a number of great artists involved, some you may recognise from the pages of Lazy Gramophone. Keep your peepers peeled. This week's installment features a collaboration with none other than Danny Chidgey, who illustrated his first collection Tastes of Ink .... read more

WARNING: This post contains opinions that some readers may find offensive, and the views within are not necessarily (and most likely aren't) those held by Lazy Gramophone, and possibly not even me. As I trawl endlessly through the bowels of dating websites, I see it time and time again: "I despise people with bad grammar”, "I'm anal about grammar, you must know what to do with a colon” etc etc. In terms of frequency, particularly on the Guardian Soulmates site, it's up there with "must have GSOH”, and "into cinema”. Of course what these people invariably refer to is spelling and punctuation, which technically isn't a part of grammar... read more

From Willipedia, the Free Encyclopaedophile This article refers to SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (Protect IP Act). For other uses see Soap or Pippa Middleton (disambiguation). As you will know, SOPA and PIPA are two contentious Acts which are being discussed by the Senate in the US at the moment. Battling online piracy and protecting the public are the supposed aims. Has piracy gotten worse? We used to get CDs out from the library and dub them or buy a copy of an overpriced album between a handful of friends. I always had blank cassettes so was happy to pay a quid to have a copy. Nearly all my music was on... read more

The internet and social networks like twitter have changed the way people access information as well as the way that creative people relate to their audiences. Everyone knows that, so I do not need to spend any time convincing you. If you like a particular comedian you expect access to free clips or jokes; if you like a particular writer, access to free articles; if you like a particular musician, links to free music. Indeed, free music and journalism, in their abundance now seem to many to be a god-given right. I have heard a few people share their thoughts on how the internet has meant artists having... read more

I don't read the news very much. Sadly I have heard of the Sun and the News of the World and all these other vitriolic printed bog rolls. They are everywhere. I'm not just talking about the physical waste paper on the buses and in the gutters, but that mental litter that is a little harder to dispose of or recycle. The ideas planted in the heads of the public are hard to shake. Although we may forget facts and figures, we build upon feelings of animosity or fear. At best these tabloids are mindless nonsense, promoting ignorance in an already dwindling intellectual population; watered down non-news. At worst they are seeds of hatred planted... read more

We are preparing for our next release in the LG shorts series of illustrations and prose; to be published in a limited edition this Autumn. To start the process off we are running a competition for the theme of this 3rd book to be chosen. The chosen theme/title from all the entries will be the basis of the collaborative work within the booklet. The winning entry will receive a free copy of the book upon publication. Read more about the LG Shorts Series here & here . Submit your theme idea (one only please) to shortscomp@lazygramophone.com The winner will be notified later in the Summer.... read more

Introduction Over the last few months I have been working with my good friend Paul Bloom on an idea called 'The Land of Phutt' . Our initial plan was to build a blog and each month use it to peer deeper and deeper into this mysterious land - so slowly revealing more about our hero, the landscape and the strange creatures that surround him. We therefore set to work - I composing plot lines and he composing images. A couple of months past and we suddenly realised that not only did we have enough material to fill our blog many times over, but also, that we had somehow established a very neat narrative! On reflection then, we have decided that... read more

Lazy Gramophone is enormously happy to announce that we are now in partnership with Rooms Art Uncovered Magazine . Like us, Rooms Magazine is: ' ...an independent and open organisation based in London, with the main objective to facillitate better connections between the art community and the wider public. In Rooms we are working on a series of projects with the intention of providing an easy link for interchange, collaboration and promotion of creative thinking. ' As a result of our partnership, the first thing you will notice is that the Rooms Magazine logo has nestled itself at the top of our site. We will also be selling copies of Rooms Magazine... read more

F ado is an oral tradition of speculative origin. Though widely accepted as evolving from the songs of the Moors due to their inherent melancholy, but equally thought to have evolved from either the Lundum music of Brazillian slaves or the Cantigas de Amigo of middle-age minstrels ( www.fado.com ), it is strange that any claim of authenticity even developed, however a new breed of Fadistas such as Mariza, whoc is considered a contentious figure amongst lovers of Fado, shows us that the question of authenticity is well and truly alive. With this in mind, the parameters that I set for my own search for authenticity... read more

Lazy Gramophone Artist Vincent Prince will be running for charity, here's why ... "I've suffered from bi-polar since my early twenties, the brief stints of unbridled, frenzied mania are pretty good, but the depression is a lousy, stinking thing to live with. I'm lucky, in so far as I have a solid support structure of friends and family around me, who are there for me when I need to get back from France, after I don't know how I got there. There are a lot of my fellow nutters who aren't so fortunate, and that's why I've decided to run the Edinburgh half-marathon in aid of them. Despite my personal experience... read more

We here at Lazy Gramophone Press are currently celebrating the publication of our fifth book: Will Conway Tastes of Ink: A message; A history; A quest; A passing; A death sentence; A claim; A sacrifice; A confession; A loss; Nine stories, some sweet, some rather unsavoury... but all very tasty. W ill Conway's first book, complete with illustrations by Daniel Chidgey, is a collection of short stories about life, death and everything in between. To mark this new release we held a Tastes of Ink Book Launch at The Betsey Trotwood, last Sunday 27th March 2011. In honour of his... read more

Available to buy now from our online shop! A message; A history; A quest; A passing; A death sentence; A claim; A sacrifice; A confession; A loss; Nine stories, some sweet, some rather unsavoury... but all very tasty. Will Conway's first book, complete with illustrations by Daniel Chidgey, is a collection of short stories about life, death and everything in between. " His work is beautiful but challenging and forces you to enter his complex, at times disturbing, thought process. ” ~ Ellie Besley, RIH Magazine In today's world it can sometimes be hard to remember the intimacy of creation. By... read more

Valentine's day eh? Ask anyone what it means and it is likely that the most interesting response you'll get is that it's the day when you have to buy your girlfriend flowers which are suddenly more expensive even though you don't usually buy flowers so you don't really know how much they actually cost anyway. Let's not pretend we're really celebrating the martyrdom of a possible priest in Roma who was decapitated for secretly marrying Catholics although it was against the law- as if anyone even cares where the celebration originates from. Whatever the story is, somehow it developed into the licence-to-print-money concept of the Valentine's... read more

Today I found out about Darth Vader being caught for fare-dodging on the train. The chap had changed his name for charity in 1999 when Lucasarts released the Fandom Menace. Even his wife (Sue Vader) had taken his name so I joked that maybe they had a daughter called Fairy. My Sun-style pun was not well received by my colleagues, unsurprisingly. (Go-Ogle the story if you're really interested but there's not much more to it) A conversation on fare-evading ensued and I remembered a sign I had seen on the train a while back which asked for fellow passengers to text a certain number if they suspected fare-dodging. Tickled by such a terrifyingly... read more

You can now subscribe to our Lazy Gramophone Shorts series. A subscription will cost £25 if your postal address is in the UK and £35 if you require postage to an international destination. Once you have subscribed we will send you an email confirming your subscription. This will act as a valid receipt for the following four editions of our Lazy Gramophone shorts series. Once you have subscribed there will be no further postage fees, simply sit back and wait for your books to arrive upon their release. Visit our Lazy Gramophone Shop to place your order LG Shorts: Quasi-quarterly collections of illustrated short stories and verse.
 
We have... read more

(I just found this on my computer so I thought I'd post it) I was pestered by dreams last night of incorrect passwords and screens freezing, as well as spooning an ex girlfriend but not having sex. I couldn't get the screen lock off my mobile to make an important call and my computer was not working. There were flashes of dystopian shopping centres and automated services as well as locked doors with no handle. Access denied was clearly the motif. Waking from dreams like that always depresses me somewhat. I hate when modern technology infiltrates my unconscious rest. How sad it is to be dreaming of technology. The idea of some committee... read more

I'll tell you what's futile. Writing a review of an album that came out in 2004 when its 2011. But being a child spawned of the Sex Pistols, Tori Amos and The Smiths I came to Eminem late and drip fed. When I began to give him my attention, I realised Eminem was raps answer to Morrissey, and I'm a sucker for a primal beat so I became a fan pretty quickly. I digest one album at a time; Eminem's Encore won the most recent lottery. I found it so comprehensive that, as a writer who once said I couldn't make music for shit but could listen to it better than anyone else, I had to sit down and write about it. First thing I understood was, this is one album... read more

So 30 years have passed since the Salinger-obsessed Texan came from Hawaii to shoot one of the most influential musicians of all time outside his home in New York. I was going to write yesterday but due to time differences and the aforementioned songwriter's fixation on the number 9 some argue that 'technically in Britain he died on the 9th.' Meanwhile back in Manhattan 'fans' crowded outside Lennon's widow's window crying and singing, among others, a song his previous partner wrote to his estranged son. The problem with making such wonderful music is that any other fool might love it too. A Beatle is everybody's property. I have often heard... read more

This journal is the sixth in a series of pieces I expect to write about those certain 'elements' of life that inspire and influence my writing. I think it's important to acknowledge these elements, as essentially they represent the root of our craft, they are the seeds that precede the fruit of our labour, the 'components' without which our thoughts, our images, our music, our words, simply would not exist. I hope you enjoy my ramblings and in return I would love to hear all about the things that inspire and influence you. After all, "without sharing, the imagination becomes little more than an echo of itself." Part Six: Scribbling... read more

Lazy Gramophone Shorts: Quasi-quarterly collections of illustrated short stories and verse. The second in our Lazy Gramophone Shorts Series, 'Guilt' is in production at the moment and due for release on October 30th at our stall in Brick Lane. Like the first in the series, 'Skeletons in the Closet' , this booklet is the collaborative effort of seven writers and illustrators. We set a theme and then ask Lazy Gramophone members and two competition winners to create a piece of work based on or inspired by the theme. With 'Skeletons', the writers started and then passed their story to an illustrator to visually... read more

This journal is the fifth in a series of pieces I expect to write about those certain 'elements' of life that inspire and influence my writing. I think it's important to acknowledge these elements, as essentially they represent the root of our craft, they are the seeds that precede the fruit of our labour, the 'components' without which our thoughts, our images, our music, our words, simply would not exist. I hope you enjoy my ramblings and in return I would love to hear all about the things that inspire and influence you. After all, "without sharing, the imagination becomes little more than an echo of itself." ... read more

I've had one of the stories, 'Potty Mouth', type-set by Dan 'Prestige' Prescott & printed onto postcards. I've been leaving these in places where people might like to pick them up. I've also stuck them up in toilets around the capital. If anybody has any suggestions of where they'd like to see them, let us know. I'll then go out, buy some more blu-tack, and bring out a wad (ooh-er). They're great as bookmarks as well as... well.. postcards. PS Will Conway Tastes of Ink now has a facebook page and a Twitter page . Join / follow / add / befriend / like or whatever it is the kids... read more

Much to London Borough Council's dismay we have been plastering LG stickers all around London and, indeed, around the world for the last few years. In honour of this, we are running a little competition to reward those of you with eagle eyes. If you see one of our stickers whilst out and about, just take a picture of it and email it to stickers@lazygramophone.com along with your address and the sticker's location. If you are the first to report the sighting we will send out an LG goody bag straight to your door. The goody bag contains a Lazy Gramophone Press letter-pressed bookmark, 2 Lazy Gramophone art postcards featuring LG artists' work, a selection... read more

This journal is the forth in a series of pieces I expect to write about those certain 'elements' of life that inspire and influence my writing. I think it's important to acknowledge these elements, as essentially they represent the root of our craft, they are the seeds that precede the fruit of our labour, the 'components' without which our thoughts, our images, our music, our words, simply would not exist. I hope you enjoy my ramblings and in return I would love to hear all about the things that inspire and influence you. After all, "without sharing, the imagination becomes little more than an echo of itself." All images by read more

More or less speaks for itself there really, in the title. I did some illo (I think that's what I'm gonna call it for a while, 'illo') for a now bearded Marmaduke Dando's excellent new album 'Heathcliffian Surly'. Look, if you don't believe me here's his website: marmadukedando.com Not that that proves anything really.... read more

There's a fridge magnet in my kitchen which depicts a finger with a bow tied round and declares 'If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.' I noticed it as I put some milk away while making a couple of cups of tea. Taking one of the brews to my housemate I saw on her bookshelf a blue spine boasting 'ways to improve your memory.' This struck a chord within me. I had never thought of lying as a helpful memory training exercise until now. I have always been defensive about lying. Being quite 'economical with the truth' myself, I suppose in a way I am a bit of an advocate for liars (not you Tony Blair; you dug your... read more

Short, honest reviews you can rely on (as much as the government). Paranormal Activity (2007) "As far as couples home movies go, this is a bit lame. The upside of it all is that you get a choice of 3 outcomes" 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) "In space no one can hear you snore" Crash (1996) "There's something for everyone here" Trainspotting (1996) "My opinion of this film is biased due to a gross misunderstanding" Dancer in the Dark (2008) "A rollicking frolicking musical" Jacob's Ladder (1990) "Even Macaulay Culkin can't salvage this predictable farce about a man's dying moments" ... read more

(Title image: Space, by Lee Miller) This journal is the third in a series of pieces I expect to write about those certain 'elements' of life that inspire and influence my writing. I think it's important to acknowledge these elements, as essentially they represent the root of our craft, they are the seeds that precede the fruit of our labour, the 'components' without which our thoughts, our images, our music, our words, simply would not exist. I hope you enjoy my ramblings and in return I would love to hear all about the things that inspire and influence you. After all, "without sharing, the imagination becomes little more than an echo... read more

Short, honest reviews you can rely on (as much as the government). Sex and the City (2008) "A Flawed Masterpiece" Sunshine Cleaning (2008) "Laugh...I nearly shat myself" The Passion of the Christ (2004) "A subtle portrayal of one man's torment" Dude, Where's My Car (2000) "Genius" Citizen Kane (1941) "Citizen Kane, is particularly Lame" The Blair Witch Project (1999) "Unashamedly unoriginal, uninspired and unrealistic. Just follow the river you effing idiots!" Irreversible (2002) "Enchanting...one for the ladies" Team America: World Police (2004) "Move over... read more

Competition now closed. Thank you for all your entries. Congratulations to the winners Amanda Holiday and Hannah Stephenson ---- With the release of 'Skeletons in the Closet' our minds are now turned towards the next in this Lazy Gramophone Shorts series. The theme of this next booklet is 'Guilt'. We will be asking 6 artists to create an image based on or inspired by this theme. The finished images will then be passed onto a writer who will interpret the image into a short story or poem. The resulting pieces will be printed in a beautiful booklet with a letter pressed cover and high quality digital internal print to... read more

Matt Black is a long-time collaborator and member of Lazy Gramophone, contributing illustrations to our many publications, displaying work at our events - especially the successful ICA show in 2008 - as well as offering constant advice and critique. This month we have asked Matt a few questions to hopefully shed some further light on his dark arts. --- Lazy Gramophone: Chicken or egg? Matt Black: I am quite partial to both, but not at the same time. You can't beat a good dipping egg with soldiers though. LG: What's wrong with society today? MB: Don't get me started.... read more

"Six writers were asked to create a short piece of writing based on the theme of "Skeletons in the Closet". These writers were then teamed up with six artists and illustrators who were, in turn, asked to create an image based on or inspired by that piece of writing. ... and this is the result." So, our forthcoming limited edition print of Skeletons in the Closet, the first in the revival of the Lazy Gramophone shorts series, is almost upon us. Here at LG Studios we have been frantically working away on the letter... read more

It's been a long time coming and will be a long time here. The Record Industry is changing. No. It has changed. Beyond all recognition and predictability. It seems as though the people have finally spoken and are voting with their feet... OK, er, fingers, as the shift to digital download continues in the face of the Industry's attempts to halt it in its tracks, pardon the pun. Strange that so many have yet to cotton on to this and still rely on 'Who's signed to Who' as a mark of quality and calibre in an artist. No sir. Those days are long gone. Why not ask yourself: Who's our generation's Stevie Wonder? Who's our Pink Floyd? Who's our Bob Dylan? Kate... read more

This journal is the second in a series of pieces I expect to write about those certain 'elements' of life that inspire and influence my writing. I think it's important to acknowledge these elements, as essentially they represent the root of our craft, they are the seeds that precede the fruit of our labour, the 'components' without which our thoughts, our images, our music, our words, simply would not exist. I hope you enjoy my ramblings and in return I would love to hear all about the things that inspire and influence you. After all, "without sharing, the imagination becomes little more than an echo of itself." ... read more

Competition is now closed. Winners will be announced shortly. Acupuncture Clothing are offering an amazing competition for all you illustrators, designers and artists out there for the chance to design their T-shirts and shoes with first prize winning £500 plus a free gift of a product where your artwork is used and runners up winning £200 plus a free gift of a product where your artwork is used. "As a brand from London, we love to connect with artists, musicians and designers practicing their talents in the UK and London. This year we would like to invite... read more

Naturally comparisons are dismal, worthless drivel - exercises in pointless dot-joining given to grammar school students to occupy their time. Others, such as rabidly polemical politicos, rely on comparisons of the sloppiest variety as rhetorical sport which exacerbate the condition of argument bloat, fabricating entire straw populations their effete hatred can bash away on. This we know, yet there is also a capacity to leverage comparison for the humorous effect of juxtaposition as a heuristic device. The readers here are most likely too old for geography lessons about places so dreary and of little interest, and yet this is precisely what we... read more

...but it might just be the reason we go on to win! I'm not one for football analysis usually but I'm sure I am not the first to notice that our national side is a bit of an anomaly. With England's final group stage game against Slovenia looming, I think it's time we sorted this out. (I should explain that I may refer to England as 'we' because I'm English and they are representing me in this tournament. However, outside of international football, I am not condoning the use of the royal 'we' to refer to the particular team someone decided to ally their selves with that week, as if they're some integral part of the squad.) ... read more

This journal is the first in a series of pieces I expect to write about those certain 'elements' of life that inspire and influence my writing. I think it's important to acknowledge these elements, as essentially they represent the root of our craft, they are the seeds that precede the fruit of our labour, the 'components' without which our thoughts, our images, our music, our words would simply not exist. I hope you enjoy my ramblings and in return I would love to hear all about the things that inspire and influence you. For as someone once said, "without sharing, the imagination becomes little more than an echo of itself.” ... read more

I can do many things magnificently, and I am utterly hopeless at many more. My mind can shuffle through ideas like a pack of cards, and deal them out in a pattern of coherent words, but I cannot plan and execute a meal beyond toast. I can follow instructions and build a five foot tall 1/12 scale dolls house, but I cannot manage public transportation without constant guidance. I can put people at ease and be merry, I can be a leader, I can be a follower, I can bake like the Sugar Plum Fairy and I have a freakish memory for phrases and conversations; ask me what I did yesterday or where my electric meter is located and you'll... read more

Will Conway has been a part of Lazy Gramophone for a number of years now. He was a contributor to The Book of Apertures and has performed at many of our live events . We are currently working on his first solo publication, a book of short stories entitled, Will Conway, Tastes of Ink. This coming Sunday (9th May) he will be performing at our newest live event, the Lazy Sunday . Lazy Gramophone (LG): Okay, so let us start with a few simple questions that will help give our readers an idea of your most recent cultural experiences: What are you reading at the moment? Will Conway... read more

COMPETITION NOW CLOSED Thanks for all your entries. Look out for our next competition coming soon. --- Lazy Gramophone Press is running a competition to find a writer and an illustrator to contribute to our next quasi-quarterly collection of illustrated short stories and verse. Back in 2007/08 we released four such booklets to great acclaim. With the sun in our eyes and warmth in our hearts (not whiskey warmth but pre-summer warmth) we are bringing the series back to life. So. Our next booklet has the theme of "Skeletons in the Closet". This booklet will contain six short stories each accompanied by an illustration.... read more

Last June The ICA and charity project Love in the Sky commissioned a selection of leading artists to work together in small groups to capture the essence of love through collaborative work. Two Lazy Gramophone artists Matt Black and Dan Prescott joined forces with Ned Conran, Liz Dalton and Bruno Maag and created some fantastic pieces pictured above and below. Other artists included Goldie, Max Lowry, Petroc Sesti, Sara Shamsavari and Zak Waters. All the finished pieces were displayed for auction at London's ICA in June 2009. See below for a video of the event and more of what Love in the Sky do.... read more

The voracious wordsmith Guy J Jackson and jazz pianist David Finch have joined forces to create a live album of Guy's classic hypereal storytelling soundtracked to a synth jazz score. Available to purchase as a download from DiGSTATION .... read more

It's a tough neighbourhood where I live in East London. If you're walking down the street you could actually be killed just because you don't look right. Still, crossing the road's the same wherever you go I suppose.... read more

My shoes squeak as I turn on my toes and step up to the urinal. The cleaner has clearly visited recently as it smells, not exactly fresh but chemically lemony. I unzip and as I look into the bowl I see that there are fresh 'mints' in there. Instead of the usual two pale, sickly mini hockey pucks there are three bright new yellow spheres. "Hey, three balls!” I say for no reason other than to show myself that I pay attention to these minor details when no-one else does. I instantly realise what I've said and how it could be taken. Mark from marketing emerges from a stall and passes me in the corner of my vision. "Not mine,” I utter... read more

Just a little note to say ' Poetry In (e)Motion ' by Scroobius Pip is now available and contains a little contribution from little old me just inside the back cover. It's not available here but it is at all the usual outlets. You may have the rest of your day now.... read more

See what we need to do is focus just occasionally, and see what happens. We can recall all of the lessons we've ever had about being constructive. Perhaps we should bring back, from the depths of our dank memories, those classes at school. Not the really boring ones. Just the ones that we hated less than the others. Just the ones where we enjoyed - even a little bit - finishing an essay, completing laps, making circuits or correctly working out a formula. Because in time, not doing anything, not producing, fills our time with distraction. And we don't really want that. Distractions can be fun, sure, and occasionally necessary, but a life... read more

A collection of sketches: simple and honest, these poems seek to placate experience and depict the eternity beyond our landscape. Written by Sam Rawlings, and with illustrations by Dan Prescott, Circle Time is an exploration into the nature of human experience. It focuses upon the way our emotional lives spiral as we grow older, the ways in which the echoes of our past are carried through time. An Introduction to Circle Time To me, poetry is representative of mystery, magic, romance, discovery; for in writing poetry, I often find that I am attempting to describe things for which there are currently no... read more

"A Handsomely produced Book (The Book of Apertures).” - Philip Pullman "I love Lazy Gramophone, you're doing terrific work.” - Terri Windling "In a time when publishers are taking fewer and fewer risks on unknown writers, Lazy Gramophone are to be applauded for giving their collective a chance to shine.” - Litro Magazine "A wonderful environment of ideas and imaginings - The Lazy Gramophone group as a collective have demonstrated a remarkable and inspiring ethos throughout and their willingness to provide a means of expression is... read more

Lazy Gramophone Press is a strong supporter of independent bookshops and has made many valuable links with stores both inside and outside of London. If you want to find a Lazy Gramophone Press Publication, we encourage you to explore your local bookshop. Approximately 121,000 new book titles were published in the UK in 2008, and with only a small percentage of those books being stocked by major retailers, continued support of your local independent booksellers remains essential in order for many of these titles to survive. Lazy Gramophone Press believes that there is and most definitely should be, space for such variety of expression... read more

Opening up all around above below me clear blue beautiful memories are finally being set free, at last released from the questioning violence the threatening self pity so cynical. Free to float peacefully amongst the slowly dancing leaves of trees amongst the heavy raindrops that occasionally paint lazily over our sunny days. Free now without any perception of possibility to be, just imagine; how boundaries would walk talk between themselves gossip and bow their gaze as we passed: proposing subtlety but beneath our eyelids secretly smiling wickedly giggling amongst those without the capacity to ever know the... read more

Nothing profound sounds this polite and wiry. No cures allowed; They're all around everybody but nobody's telling Selling instead. Could live off this stuff Snort it when lost for words, When feelings pour towards the exit forgetting Resigned from upsetting only pretending to talk, Our intentions are falling; Lethargic from throats dry and sore From too much nothing. Resonant with withdrawn and clouded in cursing Niggling smashed little grace in The pretty face, Hateful and spiteful, Despite each early morning's new born lie smiling Heart-breaking out from inside my I'm, it's a? fine Line between the hoops hanging... read more

That moment of confluence past, only a diligent reflection of the stars upon our clear skin contrasts these currents of feeling creeping between us. A voice drifts in the dark, cold as the moon quiet as the arch of a fin callous as the cracks appearing from within the beds of our lips; a sun-dried apathy. Stagnant puddles litter the fall of each balding crest the dissolution of the lightness of our veil the birth of legs. As if a tear, cast beneath the yellow of morning your silver blanched, a glassy silhouette. Our blood riven a river silenced returned to the air an echo of despair and the weight of my steps. ... read more

Abby Stokes blinked her sleep-swollen eyes and looked at the man-shaped object where her dressing gown hung. Squinting in the half-light, she made out that the man-shaped object was indeed a man and immediately she was wide awake. "I've come for you Abigail," said the man. "It is time." Abby fixed the man in her gaze. Her fingers grasped around on her bedside table, searching for anything that resembled a weapon and grabbed hold of the first solid object they found. It was an Ikea lamp with little silver feet. She held it out in front of her, a foot in each hand. "What do you want?" she asked. "You must come with me, said the man, "for... read more

And so it continued after that night. The Blobs were here to stay; he had long accepted that. Despite the occasional moments of frustration, the intense bouts of confusion, The Blobs also brought an all consuming feeling of focus and peace to his senses: The Blobs found him, the lost-and-long-wandering Boy, they collected his scattered thoughts and cradled his troubled head; they soothed his aching limbs and gave fluidity to his movements. They seemed to bridge the endless and throbbing rift between his world and that world of Others. No longer stagnant, he now danced through the in-betweens with ease. All things appeared possible,... read more

Her blonde pours from the great doors and from the windows, falls from the lamps hung like my head at this hour, carves a path straight through the absence of light. Not a single car nor even a voice, only my shadows sow time tonight. The air rakes at my feet as I drag them through the invisible scores of braced eyes all been planted deep within our history. A mutany of mind. It's soft the sunlight but cold and so old and it sings while this morning attempts to rise lullabies above the slow forming crowds. Inside my distance I sit. Wait once again watch hidden by tired. Have been given another day on which... read more

Once upon a time there was a young boy named Sompop. He liked to play in the woods near his home and would always run to his mother with tales of the interesting new creatures he 'd seen. The first time he saw a stoat his mother heard the story a hundred times. One day, he was climbing up a thick tree searching for birds' nests, when a big crow startled him and he fell to the floor and bumped his head. He awoke with a headache and sat on a stump for a while. He rooted through his knapsack to find the bone he had found earlier on, so that he could scratch some more mud out of it. He wanted it clean so he could keep it. In amongst... read more

Melvin never made any friends. Not only was he extraordinarily shy, he was small for his age, had unusual hair (which felt and looked a little like a rusty cheese-grater), he blushed at the slightest thing, and, to make matters worse, there were paving slabs that were more athletic than Melvin. He was an easy target, so preoccupied was he with his ruminations that he rarely noticed his classmates. Even when one dedicated peer sat down next to him and spent the entire double Maths lesson chewing graph paper and spitting the tiny balls into Melvins velcroesque coif. It was four hours later when, by happenstance, he caught his reflection in... read more

Melvin never made any friends. Not only was he extraordinarily shy, he was small for his age, had unusual hair (which felt and looked a little like a rusty cheese-grater), he blushed at the slightest thing, and, to make matters worse, there were paving slabs that were more athletic than Melvin. He was an easy target, so preoccupied was he with his ruminations that he rarely noticed his classmates. Even when one dedicated peer sat down next to him and spent the entire double Maths lesson chewing graph paper and spitting the tiny balls into Melvins velcroesque coif. It was four hours later when, by happenstance, he caught his reflection in... read more

I will not bend, and so, does that mean I should be broken? Because to me bending is more painful than breaking, is an endurance I am not prepared for. Too often, the only attempt at making sense from death is suffering. Too often, we believe that anything less in life is a blessing, is a gift. Therefore, as we try to hold on to our perceptions, of the expected, of what it is to be satisfied; so it becomes... time that dreams of the next minds, of all the things we will not see. 'I Will Not' can be found within Sam Rawlings' book of poetry Circle Time, which is currently available from the Lazy Gramophone Shop . To read more... read more

A yellow puddle adrift the persistence, lock of hair, of refuge accorded the blinking sky. My light of air. Town of teeth and darkness, another haunted morning, echoes of a thousand feet, black eyes and perfect manes, the sound of our pause, the sound of change. My weight a damn of silence against the roar of space. She stands with balanced lips, our seesaw aches. My ashen canvas curled beneath her as if a feather fallen, line of chalk, a single flame drawn from the pale of dawn she hesitates. 'Rebel' can be found within Sam Rawlings' book of poetry Circle Time, which is currently available from... read more

Shouldn't we speak a little more softly afloat the breeze, in case words like memories conspire to break this, reclaim our hearts. Locks of chaos fall, dance upon her neck, arc of chin and that quick inhalation of breath; a labyrinth of limbs. Shouldn't we pay a little more attention cling a little tighter to this skimming stone's mast, for thoughts perchance to kiss, so often surpassed amid the mesh of rings flowering so fast. An angel's wings, the raising of her arms the curl of her lips, soil slipped from view. I love you. Two roots torn from the ground. Living proof, our rebellion. Motionless for now, her petals... read more

Over the past few years we have organised quite a few events in various places. I've bought some of the promotional flyers together from these events for your perusal.... read more