Cameron's Big Society
Written by Frances K Wolfe on Monday the 15th of August 2011
*I wrote this scene when Cameron announced his plans to cut University funding. I saw a legacy in the not so distant future of disguarded youth, left with nothing else to do but riot and rot in a new society that had no room for it's citizens. I didn't expect this to pass to prophecy so quickly.*
Group of teenagers sitting around empty boxes and the detritius of a city long forgotten. They wear odd matches of yellow jumpsuits and burnt football shirts with assortments of strange jewellery; attire accumilated from picking up whatever has been left behind. Jogo is the oldest at 18, and obviously in charge. Kipper is the youngest.
Jog Fucking sick of sittin around here. Nothing to do. Smoking up someone else's fag ends? And for what?
Pria: Why don't you go jump off summin then.
Jog Didn't say I was suicidal.
Daz, did I say I was suicidal?
Daz: Nah.
Jog See? I ain't suicidal.
Kipper to himself: I am.
Jog I'm just sayin, what're we gonna do?
Pria: Sit here. Smoking someone else's fag ends.
Jog Then what?
Pria: I dunno.
Daz: We could go burn something.
Jog What's left to burn?
Daz: I dunno. The London Eye?
Jog Who gives a twat fart about the London Eye?
Daz: Someone probably does.
Jog It's not even working anymore.
Pria: And how are we gonna burn up a big old steel structure?
Daz: Well. We could blow a bit of it up. Make a statement.
Jog No-one cares about the sodding London Eye. In fact, we'd probably get mine duty relief or something for getting rid of it -
Kipper: I've got Miner duty next week.
Jog I mean, if we're going to be destructive, can't we do something useful?
Pria: We ain't useful. Nothings useful.
Kipper: I had rock duty last week.
Daz: What a cunt. Rock duty.
Kipper: I did it for my mum. Her back's out.
Jog Fuck your mum. And fuck the London eye.
Silence.
Pria: We could go find some pills.
Jog There ain't any.
Pria: There might be...somewhere.
Jog Daz, when was the last time you took a pill?
Daz: 2011.
Jog Two thousand - and fucking - eleven.
Daz: Can't get none.
Jog That's what I said.
Daz: He's right.
Kipper: I've got pills.
Pria: I'm just saying, since we're doing nothing.
Jog We're not doing nothing, I'm thinking, the rest of yous is doing nothing.
Daz: I remember 2011. It was a bit shit.
Kipper: I've got pills.
Jog 2006. That was when you could get pills.
Pria: Dickhead. You weren't getting pills in 2006.
Jog I was.
Pria: When you was 9?
Jog My brother Tony got them. I took a few.
Pria: Yer full of shit. Alls of yer.
Kipper: A whole load of them.
Jog What are you blabbering about?
Kipper: I've got pills.
Jog You've got pills.
Daz: Let's see em then.
Kipper pulls out a bottle and gives them to Daz to inspect.
Daz: Them? Dunno, can't read.
Hands them to Jogo.
Jog You dildaclodge. These are vitamin pills. What did yer think we was talking about?
Kipper: Pills. These are pills.
Daz: We're talking about something else. Before your time.
Kipper: I'm taking em'.
He opens up the packet and starts eating them like smarties.
Jog Prick. Pills. Pills, my arse.
Pria: You can get proper pills in the old uni towns.
Jog Now whose suicidal?
Daz: You'd be mad to go down them ways.
Pria: I've been.
Jog Yeah, sure. Where?
Pria: I went to Kingston.
Jog Yeah right.
Pria: I have!
Kipper: These don't taste half bad.
Jog What's in Kingston then?
Pria: Not much. Only a couple of shops still open. Homeless people mostly.
Jog Kingston isn't so bad. It's still near London. Not the same as Plymouth.
Pria: You know anyone whose been to Plymouth?
Jog If I did, or anybody did, they'd be chatting out of their arsehole. No-one goes to Plymouth.
Kipper: What's in Plymouth?
Jog Nothing. The Uni closed down a few years ago and the local economy crashed. Anyone who was anyone moved away, and before you knew it, the whole place was in flames and tents. You can probably get anything in Plymouth.
Kipper still eating pills: So why don't you go?
Jog It's like anywhere. Don't take to kindly to strangers. It's also a cargo town.
Kipper: What's a cargo town?
Pria: It's next to the sea, so all the cargo ships from China come in and cut deals with the locals to buy dodgy shit.
Kipper: Like what?
Pria: Body parts mostly. Organ collectors from overseas. Since the crash, organs and gold are the biggest bonds on the market.
Daz: What's that fancy talk?
Kipper: I don't feel too good.
Pria: Was gonna study economics. Once.
Jog She failed the scholarship test.
Pria: I did not fail the scholarship test!
Jog Yeah you did!
Kipper suddenly drops dead on the side.
Pria: No, the Asian quota was filled.
Jog Oh yeah, pull the race card.
Pria: Fuck off.
Daz: Everyone fails the scholarship test. That's why we're all out here.Pria: What's wrong with Kipper?
They all suddenly inspect his body. Pria pulls out the pill bottle from his hands.Pria: These ain't vitamins you dick! These are rat posion pellets!
Jog It's not my fault! I never said I could read good!
Daz: Shit. Well. He's dead.
Pria: Well we can either sell him or eat him.
Jog Sell em. Not any meat on his bones anyhow.